* si dia terlalu cepat memberitahu anda bahawa si dia ingin menjalinkan hubungan serius dengan anda. Misalnya baru 3 hari sudah bercakap soal cinta & sayang.. Nampk mcm penipu je kn…?
* mulut kata sayang & cinta tetapi tidak pernah mengambil berat soal anda malah bersikap mementingkan diri pula.
* ada sahaja alasannya apabila anda meminta pertolongan. Sekiranya dia menolong skalipun hanya lah buat secara ala kadar sahaja untuk mengambil hati anda.
* agak berkira sedikit dalam soal kewangan. Wlaupun masing2 telahbekerja namun apabila keluar makan bersama, hari ini si dia belanja anda namu, dia mula mengharapkan anda pula membelanja nya keesokan harinya..
* si dia mengajak anda melakukan perkara yang si dia suka sahaja tanpa mempedulikan anda suka atau tidak apa yang dilakukannya.Jika anda tidak menyukai aktiviti yang akan dilakukan bersamanya,si dia tetap memaksa anda mengikutnya.
* si dia cuba mengelak jika ditanya tentang alamat rumah dan hanya memberitahu secara umum sahaja. Begitu juga sekiranaya anda mahu tahu nombor telefon rumah & nombor telefon nya yg lain untuk dihubungi, si dia sama sekali tidak akan memberinya. Jika ikhlas, mengapa perlu berselindung..?
* si dia tidak pernah menceritakan tentang status dirinya. Apabila ditanya si dia akan berkata ” saya mana ada gf..siapalah yang hendakkan saya”. Tetapi telefonnya tidak pernah berhenti dr menerima panggilan @ sms. Si dia akan merampas telefon cepat2 jika anda cuba membantunya menjawab panggilan telefon @ membaca sms.Selepas itu,setiap kali bersama anda,telefonnya akan dimatikan.. Faham2 je la…
* si dia jarang menghubungi anda apabila tidak bersama anda dan memberi alasan sibuk untuk tidak keluar bersama anda.
How to Define Love
“How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?”
— Albert Einstein
Love is difficult to define. How do you avoid confusing it with infatuation or lust? Philosophers and psychologists both have attempted to define love, or at least its difference from infatuation and lust. If you are looking to find love, the following observations may be helpful.
Love is much more than a risk, but is a risk that one can take and grasp and fall into a dark abyss or dig oneself a hole and only crawl back when you overcome your emotions.
How can one truly define what love is? Not even an experienced person can truly grasp or explain love to it's truest and deepest meaning. Its concepts are just a never ending story of an open book of experiences. But love does lie in one's heart, where memories are but shadows lingering in your soul.
Steps
- The dictionary defines love in several ways that we use the word. For example love is:
- A strong positive emotion of. affection or pleasure. e.g. "His love for his work." or "I love cooking."
- Any object of warm affection or devotion or liking; "the theater was her first love". I love French food.
- Beloved: a beloved person; used as terms of endearment
- A deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction. e.g. "She was his first love" or "She loves her husband."
- A score of zero in tennis or squash; "It was 40 love!"
- Sexual love: sexual intercourse between two people. e.g. "They made love." "He hadn't had any love in months";
- Love is characterized by the desire to want good things for that person no matter what. And you're willing to work out your problems together. And you just can't hardly breathe when you're around them and even though you may see them all the time or hardly ever it's as if you get that rush of what you felt when you got your first kiss
- The Greeks defined love in four categories:
- Agape love is unconditional love. It is love by "choice" even if you are not pleased. A good example is "God loves us with our faults."
- Phi Leo love is the love of "attraction" guided by our likes or our healthy or unhealthy needs and desires.
- Storge is the word for family love and the physical show of "affection" the need for physical touch. Sometimes friendship that becomes physical love.WikiPedia:Storge
- Eros is the physical "sexual" desire, intercourse. It is the root word of erotic, and eroticism.
- Define love by thinking of what it means to you. Be bold and write down the feelings and thoughts you have about love.
- Be aware of moments when you feel love towards anyone or anything.
- Consider your motives, what are you each getting from the situation. Especially if it is progressing too quickly...
- Think about whether you'd feel the same way if the other person's looks were to change (is it just attraction).
- Capture your feelings in metaphors, poetry or songs. "Love is like..."
- Define love like a psychologist: love can be viewed as having three parts, triangularly. There are three key components:
- Passion underlies physical desire, sexual behavior, and arousal. This is the physical side.
- Intimacy is the emotional aspect: closeness, connectedness, and warmth of friendship.
- Commitment is the decision-making part "CHOICE" of love; are couples willing to work it out?
- Expressing love may start as flirting with smiles, winks and maybe even kissing, but it is usually infatuation at this point, approaching with curiosity by one or both parties. While time is usually spent looking to discover more about this intriguing person, much time will be spent pondering the many possibilities of what could happen, or the consequences that may become of a certain action, or on the other hand the good that may come of it.
- Thrill as the person in love having little else of such interest in the real world, food may taste bland, concentrating has become a serious mental struggle and even fun pastimes may seem worthless, as pacing and walking or even simply sitting or lying while musing about the person seems a most engaging thing to do.
- This type of behavior can lead to serious disturbances at work and at home, especially if the person feeling love is already an item with somebody else with whom they may have shared these feelings at some time in the past.
- Deeply in love--never scientifically proven to exist--it is thought that one can only be really in love with one person at a time. The part of the human being that is reserved for sharing with another (which some may call the soul, or the heart) is used up while dedicating itself to that one source, and that it is impossible to feel the overwhelming feeling of love in two sources: "twice-at-once" sounds impossible!
- Although similar, love is thought not to be like pain which has definite locations; it is thought that it can move around, although usually it will reside in the lower stomach or the bottom of the throat, with sensitive areas like the temples and the legs and joints feeling stressed and weak. The mouth is often dry and the eyes seem strained, and this is all usually given the diagnosis of love sickness, or in some cases where love isn't present, influenza.
- Endure for a time. Time does seem to be the only healer in the case of lost love. The full connection of two loving parties (mutually) could lead to a stronger relationship, and developments such as procreation and marriage; but in the case of a single party or the rejection of the first party by the second, or even in the case of a secret love, being in love will usually only fade after the interest is out of sight and out of mind, or gives full closure to the pursuer.
- Love forever (especially in literature)--it is forever. No matter how much time passes by, or what obstacles become present in the path to true and pure love, love will endure. This may be far fetched from reality, but many find it to be a preferable way to think.
- Although this may be a much more joyous belief to have of love, there are also those situations where love does fail. This can be easily said to have been due to false love of mistaken identity between persons (as lovers are star crossed and are meant to find each other). Either way, the difference between feeling love and not feeling it is a distinct one, and cannot be mistaken. It is a true sickness that is present and can be more crippling than the flu, depression and many other illnesses combined.
- Love can cause war; in the cases of love of religion and the love of money; war can cause people to steal and murder, it can lead to suicide and shatter marriage and family life, it can spread disease and give birth to evil; but love is eternal and cannot be eliminated, it is what makes people human. "I think therefore I am" may also be translated as "I love therefore I am".
- Allow yourself to think so you may choose why, where and when to find your life partner not just for simple breeding or survival of the fittest, but in order for developing and choosing as human beings not just feeling beings.
- Share your love and spread it on through new generations, so while love lasts eternally, your mark upon humanity is also forever through your children and children's children; you make your mark by your genetic codes, understandings and teachings continuing--passed on and developed forevermore!
- This eternal possibility is a gift, not just dedication; you have to choose as we were born with conscientiousness, not like animals who only have instinct.
- Desire is the want of more and is unfillable, not to be confused with Love which is joy and contentment.
